How my little brother's joy and stubbornness inspires me

My younger brother, Joel,  lives in my hometown of South Bend, Ind. 

He has Down Syndrome and along with our older brother I’m his co-guardian who makes decisions about his care. 

While it sometimes feels like a big responsibility, Joel has a knack for lifting my spirits by being one of the most joyful individuals I have ever known. He teaches me life lessons all the time, and recently taught me how to look at his stubborn side a little differently.

Navigating a health setback

Joel has limited speech due to a hearing impairment discovered in his early developmental years. Despite this challenge, he has always possessed a gift for making himself understood by others. Joel uses some sign language and does a lot of pointing to things in order to communicate. He will blow a kiss and sign “Thank You” to express his appreciation, and gets very excited and effusive when he is happy to see you.

He also has a stubborn side. He loves to take out the trash and hates when someone does it for him. He’s not in love with certain tasks and will often try to find a way out of them. And when he wants some yummy food, he will charm and stand his ground to get what he wants. For me, his stubborn and sweet sides combined in a very unique way when he faced a significant recent health challenge, a serious stroke in November of 2024. I was with him when it happened.

He stayed in the hospital for weeks, was on a pureed diet, and away from all that was familiar to him. While in the hospital , then acute rehabilitation, he appeared scared and confused at times and yearned to get his old life back.

We observed his interactions with people at the hospital. These experiences taught us how his stubborn side is really his determination. In fact, during his hospital intake, one of the physical therapists saw that determination and immediately asked for him to be on her case load.

He had some down days for sure. To motivate him, we create small goals (getting up from his wheelchair, going to the restroom independently, etc.), then we would gift him time with his favorite TV shows, vanilla milkshakes and some fun downtime.  

After some rehabilitation progress, his kind infectious spirit came back in full swing. His determination and endearing smile even inspired others on the floor.

One day he befriended a somewhat unmotivated hospital employee by using silly gestures to provide commentary on the hospital food. He coaxed laughs from a disabled patient in his 70s and many others when he showed his excitement watching two patients play cornhole. 

Back home and loving life

My little brother made it back home with his roommates and out of his wheelchair earlier than expected. He now spends no time in his wheelchair, primarily uses a walker, and is back to seizing his days again. 

I’ll admit, Joel enjoys a bit of a celebrity status in South Bend, too. He likes to visit his favorite restaurants, where everyone knows him, and he volunteers at his former apartment complex. Joel loves putting smiles on people’s faces.

With this recent experience, along with many other past ones, my brother reminds me to keep it light, smile a lot, and to use a little stubbornness to be heard sometimes.  

For me personally, I can become frustrated in business at times, but I really do strive to have that positive energy, to be fun and laugh at myself. I still can sometimes get stressed, negative and distracted, but my lessons from Joel remind me that if you have that sense of whimsy, fun and laughter, and make yourself understood, you can go far. 

My brother is inspiring me in 2025 to make joy, caring and fun the motivators for all of my interactions.

Here’s to embracing our stubborn determination when we need to, smiling abundantly and creating a great 2025!