Seeing the value in your work without external reinforcement
I’m one of those lucky people who loves their work, and doesn’t see it as a job. I’m always energized to find new media opportunities for my clients, and I see my work as fulfilling and rewarding. I am blessed to have many grateful clients who sing my praises and thank me for my efforts.
But sometimes those kudos don’t come. I may land a great television segment or an interview with a major news outlet for a client, and I might not get the pat on the back – or external reinforcement – I crave. I know it’s not personal. Oftentimes, people are just busy and forget to say thank you or they may not understand how much of a media win they just experienced.
At the end of the day, I’m human, and it’s normal to sometimes crave external reinforcement. But if it doesn’t come, I am learning to be resilient and find ways to reinforce myself. Here are two things I’m doing to keep my spirits and motivation high, regardless of whether I’m receiving external reinforcement or not.
Remembering three powerful words
Recently, in the middle of a workday, I received a text from a journalist whom I helped with a feature promoting a local nonprofit’s work. I absolutely beamed when reading these three words:
“These stories matter.”
These moments remind me of why I do what I do. So, rather than take this external reinforcement for granted, I’ve used it to curate internal certainty and remind myself that I am doing the work I was meant to do. I’m taking the pats on the back I get along the way and leveraging them for further motivation, and it works!
Singing my own praises
When I get a win, I am often reluctant to sing my own praises. Maybe it’s my Midwestern work ethic, but I was raised to work hard and stay humble. I still value this thinking; however, I am also now giving myself permission to wag my own tail from time to time.
Recently, I helped land a huge news story for a client and didn’t hear much from them afterwards. I wondered if I did something wrong, if they were happy with the coverage, and all of those silly internal voices showed up.
Instead of wasting energy on negative thoughts, I took matters into my own hands. I went to a thrift store and bought myself a tacky 49-cent coffee mug with the word “Congrats” on it. Then, my husband and I enjoyed a cup of coffee together and toasted my earned media victory!
While it may seem trivial, the move grounded and energized me and reminded me of the importance of showing up every day, and being helpful to others, to be of service to journalists on deadline and clients so they can get the word out about their good work.
Taking the time to be my own external reinforcer is empowering. It gives me that critical recharge moment, which allows me to get back to giving to others and loving what I do.
